This has to be one of the funniest sites I have ever seen. Perhaps it just appeals to my sense of humour. Whatever indeed. 

Now there's an answer you can use. 

An amusing email found its way here this morning and it would be remiss of me not to post some of its contents on this site. This is for anyone who ever hated exams. Eventually I will educate myself in the ways of hosting these nuggets elsewhere when my snazzy new site is up and running. But not today. 

This is how we do it... 

Let's briefly revisit last week's swearing theme. It's hard not to agree with this ranting maniac. Takes one to know one and so on.

The road less travelled. Not sure of the relevance, but that's the general style round these parts. 

There's the Dark Side for you... 

A theme appears to be emerging here...

What a way to start the day. This morning's Guardian provided me with a boost in saying that graduates ain't what they used to be and degrees are worth less than they once were. Not a huge revelation to many of us. Well, me at least. In summary:

Simply put, the more people go to university, the less special the word "graduate" is, and the narrower the gap between graduate and non-graduate lives. In the era of Lucky Jim and CP Snow, with only around 5-7% of people going to university, the lucky few really did find their lives transformed, as if by a magic wand that took them from factory lines to middle-class plenty.

Good points, but it doesn't take into account that, despite the facts, some people study for a degree for their own personal development, whatever you take that to mean. I'd like to comment further but I must now continue my hunt for gainful employment in the light of my last three years having been an apparent waste of time.

Ho hum.

More job hunting-related activities today. I've set myself a list of tasks for today and managed to get everything dome that I intended. Paltry as some of those tasks were admittedly pretty paltry. But that's not the point. The point is that you've got to have a plan, as far as I keep hearing.

So, what was on this list? I had to give the new Coldplay album a good listen for a start. You've got to keep abreast of these things. Then there's the job business. Searched the web until my eyes stung. Then I did it some more. So far there's not much to shout about, although I might not be looking in the right places. It's good for ideas and focusing the mind. Plus it makes you think about new strategies, like writing to some people who I'd like to work for. That would be quite novel. There's more to the list but it really doesn't merit the bandwidth. Trust me, it was all crucial, grown-up stuff.

Anyway, I met a colleague in uni today and we had a very brief chat. He asked if I'd seen this job and that bloody job and if I'd gone for that and applied for that. I said I hadn't and I could sense he felt quite pleased with himself. Maybe I was bit touchy about it. Of course I should have looked ahead with a little more clarity and blah blah blah.

The way I see it, I just thought I'd give the poor bastards a fortnight's head start.

So, here it begins.

The job hunting starts in earnest on this very day. I have no illusions about finding anything at the first attempt although my financial situation and the impending need for to pay the rent means I don't have the luxury of unlimited time. That and the fact that I'm on the verge of inciting my long suffering girlfriend into killing me. Anyway, I'm sure it'll all turn out just fine...

While I've got time on my hands (but no money) allow me to recommend some worthwhile sites. Apparently there's a popular series of films called Star Wars something-or-other which are getting a lot of attention at the moment. One of the main characters has been keeping a weblog which is certainly worth a look.

On a slightly different note Modern Toss is great, particularly if you like swearing. I've only ever met one person who didn't.

Well, that's it then.

Yesterday saw the end of my degree (although I've been celebrating this intermittently for some weeks now) so before too long I'm going to have to find another way to occupy my time. What better way than to visit mediawatch. Ah, satire is alive and in reasonably rude health if this is anything to go by. An exerpt if you will:

Arse. Cock. Shit. Bugger. Bollocks. Bastard. Bitch. Wank. Twat. Fuck. Cunt.

All these words are highly offensive and the mere utterance of any one of them could cause the complete collapse of civilisation at any time. Here at MediaWatch-UK we are acutely aware of the damage foul language causes on a day to day basis, in fact recent studies1 have shown that swearing causes more deaths worldwide every year than war and famine combined!

It is essential for the good of all mankind that swearing be prevented immediately. MediaWatch-UK volunteers have done extensive research into the causes of swearing and have discovered a highly worrying trend.

Every swearword in the English language contains alphabetic characters!

It has become alarmingly clear to us that the root cause of all swearing and therefore all problems inherent in British society is this so called "alphabet." We are therefore calling on all good white Christians in the UK to write to their MP's and local newspapers urging them to support a ban on the alphabet forthwith.

Whilst liberals, socialists and other commie scum are almost certain to moan about the "erosion of civil liberties" and "freedom of speech" is it not worth giving up a tiny amount of freedom in order to protect future generations of children from all the problems caused by bad language? It is obvious to us at MediaWatch-UK that it is.

By banning the alphabet the only way to swear will be to do so in a language which does not use the traditional English character set. After extensive research we have discovered that such languages include Chinese, Russian and Arabic - the languages of communists and terrorists! Proof if further proof were needed that terrorism and swearing and intrinsically linked.

As such we at MediaWatch-UK are also calling for the restoration of the death penalty for the crime of swearing in a language other than English. Only once these goals are achieved will society be truly safe.

1 We actually made this up but hopefully that won't stop the Daily Mail from publishing it as fact anyway.

There's more where that came from. Have a look. Like you've got anything better to do.

Well, Survival Sunday turned out to be nothing of the sort, although you'd be pushed to sense Saints had been relegated from the expression on Jon's face. Depressing? Apparently not, apart from the sheer number of police in town recommending that the pubs lock their doors, preventing us from having a consolation pint. 

Well, there it was.

I handed in my dissertation yesterday. Hooray! Myself and a few friends thought that was as good an excuse for a celebration as we were going to find (on that particular day) and so we hit the town for eleven hours of fun and games. There was a lot of talk of anticlimax, expecting to feel more elated, much like New Year's Eve, but I was having none of that. I've spent too many hours hunched over a keyboard to let the day pass without a bit of fun. And that's what it was.

Just a short one today.

I've just been playing with some new software (new to me anyway...)trying to increase my range of 'skills', as it were. Found a good tutorial on how to do clever things with web menus and so on and then had an insight seconds after setting up a document. It reminded me of asking for directions when you're driving. You need the directions, you pull over and ask someone. But the moment they start talking you lose interest. By the time they get to the second or third turn ("...if you pass a hospital on your right, you've gone too far...")you've actually begun to resent them so you drive away knowing how to get another 100 metres down the road before you have to stop and begin the whole sorry process over again.

Needless to say, I didn't get through the tutorial.

What? 

Well, here's a thing.

I started this way back when I began my degree. Here we are a few years later without a great deal to show, at least as far as this blog is concerned. Looking back at one of the early posts and I see Saints were in the FA Cup final. Now battling relegation two seasons later, although a good result aginst Norwich lifted us out of of the bottom three today. Not that it's going to change anyone's life, although survival would mean a good day out for a few of us. No doubt.

The degree's nearly done too. Whether it will help me with my own ongoing relegation battle is another matter. It's been a busy, nutty few months. A lot has happened, what with moving, cobbling together a dissertation (still sounds like a surgical procedure to me. Feels like it too some days...) and all the other goings-on. It feels like I've come a fair old way, which has got to be what it's about.

I discussed with Gabi what I'd do when I accepted my degree at the ceremony. Something along the lines of kissing my shirt, like footballers do. Maybe a peace sign for the assembled masses. After all, I am the self-apointed spiritual leader. Should make a mark. Gabi pointed out that I would serve only to make myself look like a complete prick, confirming the suspicions of many present. Good advice in there somewhere, I thought.

Finally, a use for a blog. Procrastination. Today could be a great day for writing an essay. The research is done. I have an essay plan. Dammit, I've even written the bibliography already. It's just the easy part left which is actually writing it. Which is why I'm here typing this instead. Everything else seems more appealing. I even attempted to tidy my 'study' although that's a bigger job than any of us could handle. Even on a motivated day. And this is Sunday after all.

The work ethic. What the hell is that? Discuss.

Short sentences. The way. Forward.

Great. Winter nights. 

Ah, The Simpsons. Only a lunatic would deny that this is the greatest television show ever made. Or people who need to get out much more and have no reference points built upon normal human interaction and even a passing interest in what goes on in the world.

Before I get carried away, I suggest you take a look at this site It'll make you love the show even more.

Amsterdam in September 2004. What else do you need to know? I had a great time.
 

Well, here we are again. Lets ignore all that went before. Oh, you already did. So, another fresh start. To what, we may all well ask. And I won't know the answer. But I'm damn sure I never understood the question anyway.

The Festive season is almost upon us so this is as good a place as any to post rampant speculation, gossip and compromising photos of friends, colleagues and relatives.

Let the games begin.

In the absence of anything interesting to talk about, here is a man with pegs on his face. 

Guess who? 

Guess who? 

Here we are again. College is finished for the summer. Hugely anti-climactic. Now it's time to think about getting a job for a few months. Or something. That certainly isn't going to happen in the next couple of hours though.

So, today's thing. 50 quid bloke is well worth your time. Reasonably sober and open-minded commentary on music and other subjects. Talking of which, Delays album is rather fabulous. And it just so happens that they're supporting Pixies in June. Good to see they've both dropped the 'The' prefix.

Well, the sun shines on Southampton today so lets have a look outside...

Kilroy. Whatever the motivation behind his comments (you know, the one about Arabs), and without wanting to appear glib, the fact that the BBC have suspended his programme is a good thing. A very good thing. (To be fair, the quiz he briefly hosted was so execrable that even ITV axed it...)

That show is the most insulting, patronising, painful 30 (or more) minutes imaginable and, without getting too personal, the less I have to look at his smarmy, perma-tanned face and listen to his ingratiating 'I'm-one-of-you-guys' tone, the happier I'll be.

Just thought it was worth a mention.

Here we are again. Harold Shipman has hung himself in prison, which reminds me of something a friend said recently: Shipman is described as Britain's worst ever serial killer. Surely someone who killed 200 people must be Britain's best by anyone's standards. Or was he missing the point?

Meanwhile, I came across mediacarta today and thoroughly recommend taking a look.
Here's a taster:

"Here’s how it plays out. You can use sex to sell beer. You can use psychological tricks to sell junk food to kids. You can use hype to sell cars. You can use lies to sell war. What you cannot do, however, is turn the tables and speak out against the companies that are doing the selling. In a totalitarian system, you aren’t allowed to talk back to the government; in the capitalist system, you can’t talk back to the sponsor."

Get over there and sign the manifesto, then read the history of freedom of speech. That's my advice.

Hello, good afternoon and welcome.

Woke up today with a fuzzy head, doubtless the result of too much wine last night. Made plans for global domination but subsequently realised that I didn't have the energy to go through with it and I'm meant to be going to a birthday barbecue anyway. So I ate some cream cakes for breakfast instead. Never contemplate taking over the world on an empty stomach, as a wise man once said.

Other interesting things that have happened today? I bought a newspaper. And some juice. There you go.

I suppose it's only polite to put a link here. How about some kid's TV from way back? That'll do it.

CIA - The World Factbook 2002 -- Sudan